Oh boy, it’s been quite the challenge to keep myself from falling over the edge for the past few weeks. What is it about adulthood that has us all so frazzled? Is it fear of failure? or worse, being successful and not having any time left for leisure?
This past month and a half I’ve been working two jobs and an internship as well as taking two classes and trying to work out some semblance of a future for myself and my boyfriend (including coaching him on cover letters, I know, it’s boring, while also trying to decide where my next internship will land me).
I’m simply exhausted, and if this is what adulthood is, then I’d like to go back to being five please! I never understood the appeal of wine when I was little, but I’m definitely beginning to understand it now. I can barely keep myself afloat.
Thankfully I have friends who understand, and I get off in the afternoon, even if I have to get up at an ungodly hour (ungodly for me at least). I’ve been getting a lot done, and I feel more accomplished, but sometimes I wish I could just sleep in a little longer, even if it’s just a half an hour.
I’m hoping that when I work a grown up job, I won’t have to work three of them. I’ll be taking classes, but hopefully I’ll have some semblance of a schedule. It just seems like life isn’t together right now. I’m floating around. I’m successful, but in the way that an astronaut is successful at living in space for a year- everybody thinks you’re doing great things, but life on earth becomes a stranger to you. Life on my plane is becoming more and more distant each day.
I try to do little things for myself, and I think that’s something all overwhelmed people need to do. I’m just taking it one day at a time.