I’m obsessed with reading Christian living blogs- not only that, but they’re usually Christian mom blogs or wife blogs- I am neither of those things. It seems important to recognize here that I never want to be a wife or a mother, nor am I religious in any way, shape or form- but I just can’t stop reading these things.
I’ve always had a morbid curiosity with that which I am not- whether that be other ideas, other politics, other ways of life, or different cultures- I’m always wrapped up in learning what I am not.
I haven’t always been so proactive about it. I haven’t always been honest about it either- I thought that if someone caught me exploring conservative culture, then they would automatically assume a conversion, a change of values, or something else. I was afraid of lash back- silly, I know, because most people automatically assume Christians are good people. Why wouldn’t I want to be caught up in that?
I’m baffled by my efforts to understand; after all, religion has no bearing in my life. Heck, I probably know more about being a “good Christian wife” then most married Christian women- okay, maybe not more, but I’d probably make a good one.
I don’t desire to have children, I don’t go to church, I’m iffy on marriage (and if I do get married it will probably be at a court house), and most importantly I cannot bring myself to believe in a god- any god, unless overwhelming evidence makes its way into my life.
Christian culture and identity continue to baffle me, so I educate myself on their customs. I educate myself on how they live so that maybe I won’t harbor judgement. It’s hard to know the point of view on someone outside of your comfort zone.